Words

Hi,

I apologize for what I said. Those words would shatter or even break a bridge. Let alone our bond. I take those words back. To rebuild the path of love, mercy and empathy between us. So we could walk to each other again to make unforgettable memories and fill each other’s mind with tranquillity.

Kind regards,

Marwand.

Why are you so cold hearted?

Oh, Marwand.

Why are you so cold hearted?

No, I am not. When I saw you for the first time, my heart turned into a wildfire. No water could cool it down, and no drug could control it. No doctor, priest or imam could heal me.

Anybody who touched me, they burned their hand. Some said Marwand is cursed and left me in a hurry.

Because of this heat inside me, I turned many clothes and beds slowly into ashes. I have spent many sleepless nights, wondering what could be the cure?

However, on one blessed rainy day, when our lips touched,
you extinguished the wildfire and restored the balance.

But as soon as you left, the hell broke loose again. That is when I realised that you are the virus and cure.

By Marwand

How do I keep my wife happy?

Someone has asked me, how do I keep my wife happy?

Well, you should keep her love tank full, by speaking her love language. According to psychologists, “the need to feel loved is a most basic fundamental need”. As famous Persian poet said, “through love thorns become roses”. Our love tank needs to be filled regularly. This is the burning desire of every human being. Those who know how to fill it, have a happy and healthy relationship. Those who do not suffer.

It is very important to speak the love language of your partner. The way people perceive love differs. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their “love tank.” Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact.

You can buy regular gifts for your wife and assume that she will feel loved. But what if she feels loved and valued by words of affirmation which she never hears.

Therefore, to make our partners feel valued and loved, we should understand their love language. Dr Gary Chapman marriage counsellor for more than 30 years has identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

1. Words of Affirmation – Encourage, affirm, appreciate, empathise, listen actively. Encourage your partner so they achieve their goals. Compliment them on what they do for you. As Mark Twain noted, “some people live for two months on a good compliment”. Do not take it for granted. Say kind words. Soft answers turn away anger. Do not fight fire with fire. Be soft when they are angry.

2. Quality time – giving undivided attention. Focused eye contact, sharing experience, thoughts, feelings, desires in an amicable uninterrupted context. Uninterrupted and focused conversation. One-on-one time is essential.

3. Reviving Gifts – giving gifts is a sign that we think about them. Thoughtfulness, make your partner a priority. Give thoughtful gifts and gestures. Small things matter in a big way. Express your gratitude when receiving gifts.

4. Acts of service – do things for your partner that they like you do. This way you seek to please her by serving her to express love for her doing things for her. Make them breakfast and cook. Helping with chores will ease the burden of responsibility. Make requests, not demands.

5. Physical touch – non-verbal use body language and touch to emphasise love.

How do you discover the love language of your wife?

Observe how your wife often expresses love to others. If she regularly doing acts of service to others, this might be her love language. If she consistently, verbally affirming people, then words of affirmation is her love language. When you go on a business trip and come back. And your wife says you didn’t bring me anything? This is an indication that gifts is her love language. When she says we do not spend time together, this indicates the quality time.

How does it feel to marry your high school crush?

They are as a rose and water. My uncle was 16 when he met his wife who was 14 at their high school in Kabul, Afghanistan. They married when he was 25, and she was 23 in 1993. The newlywed’s honeymoon was not in Bali. Their new life started with the lack of food in cold winters and punishing hot summers of Kabul. Where the rain of bullets and rockets torn apart a lover from her beloved, a mother of her child and a rose from its roots. Although destiny kept the newlywed alive it turned them into refugees in their own city. Love and hope made them move from town to town till they reached the peaceful Netherlands. Here they have built a new life. Rose gave birth to three petals. Three children, now age 22, 20, and 16. The water and a rose are still inseparable. They are healthy and fresh. Their relationship is full of passion and love.

By Marwand

Gone

My darling, you are gone like a wind
but your sweet memories are still in me
Just like this ink in my pen that cries on this letter
What should I do until the memories leave me?
What should I do until sleep becomes a friend of my eyes
and patience will live in my heart again
since you are gone, they have gone too.

By Marwand Bahand

Miss Mine

So many girls
As autumn leafs
on the Hague streets.
But I still miss mine,
Wonder when destiny
Will blow her to me.
Because time is harsh
People step on leafs,
And leave in rush.
Hopefully
soon she arrives.
I am water
she is my leaf.
Staying together
Will help to survive
every grief.

By Marwand Bahand

A wish

A cool breeze was touching my skin
It blew away the warmness from body
That was struggling to breathe,

Oh breeze, I said
You are so kind & smart
Why don’t you stay with me?

Breeze replied:
My nature is not to stay at one place
But to spin from city to city
Under this roof called sky,
Being caged or planted
At one place is death to me.

I asked:
Please, can you carry
My message to her?
How is she doing?

She is just like you,
Can’t be seen nor touched
But still able to bring
Freshness to my heart.

by Marwand Bahand